Taking my own name in vain.
29 December 2025
Another year and another solo Christmas complete, it’s also been another year of change, of new feelings, and a continued desire to move forward with love and kindness. The last of those being something that stayed with me after finishingTed Lasso which I pretty much binged watched last year. There’s a point, towards the end, during a press conference after something quite dramatic happens where the person from the club taking the press conference tells a story; pretty typical for the show. At the end, he admits what his player did was wrong but would choose to show him love and I’ve kind of taken that to heart (pun intended, I intend my puns!). For me it’s the difference between always being angry about a thing and find a way to move past it whilst still accepting how it made you feel.
At the start of this year I was still living in the flat I’d moved out to and appreciating the fact that, during some of the very hot days, there was a lovely, cool swimming pool the kids and I could use any time. We perhaps didn’t use it as much as we could have, but many games of Marco Polo were played. We also took a day trip to the coast which we jammed pretty full of things, including a trip to the zoo!
I’m hoping we can take a few more trips this year and maybe, if things work out how I hope, a holiday will be forthcoming beyond the one we’ve planned with Grandparents early next year. Holidays away from Canberra have been the trickiest thing to achieve but I’m hopeful that will change. Their mum took the kids for a few nights in March and I enjoyed a rare Saturday night free to catch up with a friend.
As with pretty much any year, dancing was at the forefront for both girls. C started in crew but after lots of thought and other external factors, decided to leave part way through the year. It was a tough decision to take but I feel that, whilst she missed performing (she loved the one competition she did take part in) it just wasn’t the right environment for her. I’m proud that she recognised that it wasn’t working for her and that she made sure the classes she did do, she enjoyed.
L switched from troupe to tap troupe around the same time C left her hip-hop crew. Again, a good move on reflection and proud of her too for voicing her feelings around not really enjoying things. I am grateful, however, that friends from troupe were also in tap troupe which made the transition much easier. They did really well over the year and L loved every minute on stage.
Both performed in various end of year shows C in one schools show and L in two after new classes were joined in a different dance school. I still suck at ballet buns and makeup is still definitely not my thing but I will continue to give it my best shot and be forever thankful that their dance schools are very supportive and work with what I’ve done rather than bemoan my inability to do eyeliner.
This year also saw me move into my own apartment which still feels weird but I’m grateful to have a place of my own. I’m also fairly certain both girls appreciate having their own rooms and whilst furniture is still in short supply, we’re getting there. It’s taking time, I think, to get used to be here much as it did when I moved into the old flat. Still, it’s a roof over our heads and much more space to live in and for that, I’m very thankful.
I also had the kids for extra days as their mum had time away with work. It was lovely to have them around more and certainly made sure the apartment was never quiet. I’ve found that, with more space, comes a more deafening silence when you’re living on your own. Perhaps, in a way, all this is preparing me for when I become an empty nester?
For me, though, this year has been another year of making it through. Finding the fun and laughter where I can find it and appreciating the friendships I have around me. I’ve been playing six-a-side this past couple months as well as a semi-regular brunch on a Sunday too. The football will finish before the full season starts but I hope the brunch will continue as I’ve really appreciated the catchup and just generally being out and about. It’s been very easy to just stay home, not do a lot and then wonder where the time went.
I got another year older too, though not necessarily wiser. I’m also keenly aware that, moving into my own space has brought about a whole bunch of new feelings and resurrected old ones too. It makes things feel very much more permanent as well as bringing into focus what lies ahead. Clearly that’s still a lot more for me to unpack about what’s gone on in my life over the last couple of years, but I’m thankful for all the support I’ve had and continue to receive from friends and family.
Onwards to 2026.